A new home and time to rest and reflect

Every summer it takes a few days to transition from CIY back to school, this year I had to make that transition much earlier than past summers. It's such a culture shock to go from the ins and outs of putting on a conference to my own apartment with minimal things on my schedule. It has been nice to have time to sleep and catch up on much needed rest, to be unpacked and finally settled somewhere for more than a week, to have some time to myself,  and to sleep with my phone off at night for a few weeks. I am so thankful though that these few things don't keep my from doing the work that I love, while I am grateful for them at the moment they are so small in the scheme of things and I would give them up at any point, they are a comfort but not a necessity. While I miss CIY, I am settling in here and getting excited for what the fall holds. It is always hard because my heart is torn in half, I love both CIY and Olivet. So far I have been able to keep both of them a part of my life, and I trust that God will continue to show me where I am supposed to be in what season.

I love my apartment, it feels so much like a home. It is still weird that I get to live here by myself, but I decided that there are parts of that I really enjoy. Plus, I probably won't live on my own forever so miswell embrace it while I can! It has been fun to choose paint colors and to decorate my apartment how I want it. My parents did all the hard work, while I was gone all summer. They are awesome, don't know what i'd do without them.

It is pretty quiet around campus besides the Chicago Bears who overtake our campus every August. I haven't ventured over to campus yet, because I fear that I will just get stopped and not be able to get anywhere so for now I just hang out in my apartment or in town. I am excited for everyone else to get back to campus and excited to be reconnected with my friends. It's been good though, no agenda, lots of sleep, some reading, cooking, decorating- all things that I haven't done in a LONG time!

Yesterday I went in to the grad school where I will start working in a week and a half. It was nice to go in and meet some of the others that work there and get a feel for where I will be. I am still slightly overwhelmed by the thought of a full time job and a part time job, but once I get into a rhythm I think it will be manageable. As I reflected yesterday (since I have had a lot of time for reflection)  I really started to think about the truth that when we let go God will provide, but we have to release control. I think back to this summer. In May, I was trying to figure out what I would do for work this fall, I remember a conversation with my mom where I pretty much whined for a half hour about how I wasn't sure what I would do and told her how stressed I was, who knows what else I said. I think back to that conversation and realize that I never should have let myself stress about it. A couple weeks later as my summer picked up I just forgot about the fall, I was so immersed in where I was currently that a job for the fall wasn't even on my mind. I had stopped looking and stopped worrying. It was in this time when I was at peace and just fully living out where and what God had called me to at that time when a job came to me. At the time none of this occurred to me, but looking back I can see that when I gave up control God provided. As I reflected yesterday I realized that I need to give God control of other areas of my life, and let Him provide in those ways rather than me trying to control each situation. It's easy to say, harder to do but I am working on letting go, so that God can do as He wishes.

I'm grateful for the journey I am on and eager to see God continue to lead me. Excited about the relationships I will get to build as an RD and the conversations I will have the chance to be a part of. Thankful that even in my brokenness God uses me in ways I could never imagine and continues to do so.

Here are some apartment pics for those who have been asking. Please come visit though! I love to have people over :)

Always ready for an open door

It's already mid July and hard to wrap my mind around how fast this summer has gone. I have had the  opportunity to take part in an incredible summer, definitely high on the list of best summers. Each week has presented its own challenges, while we put on the same conference, every week is extremely different. This week I think the exhaustion and stress may be finally setting in- I don't normally lose things, but yesterday I lost 2 things-both can be replaced, but I'm just frustrated with myself for losing them. 

One thing I have really tried to learn this summer is how to just enjoy where I am and to not worry about what's ahead. When it comes to living in the moment I do well as far as not thinking about the fall, the hardest thing I'm trying to figure out is how to not allow the work and communication that needs to be done for the following weeks conference to get in the way of what needs to happen at the current week. As a PC, I think this has been the biggest challenge that is different from any other year. Still have to balance work and fun, but been figuring that out for years. The other main thing that is different About my summer is that every week or two weeks I am working with a whole different crew. It's cool because it allows me to meet a bunch of people and to reconnect with people I've been with past summers, but it's also presented its challenges. Il like there is little consistency in my life right now, and so that is something that Has really drawn me near to the Lord. Gods constant presence in my life is my rock, it's what allows me to take the next step.

I feel that over the past few weeks as though God has been telling me that I need to be open. I'm not exactly sure yet what this means, but that it requires me to be devoted to what he has called me to in the time he has called me to it, and to listen and be open to His direction as He desires to reveal to me the next direction for my life. There is not one place that I know I want to be for a long period of time. When God calls, I desire to follow Him.  

In less than 2 weeks I will be back in Illinois, living on my own, and starting 2 new jobs.  I'm just slightly overwhelmed, but also excited for what God has in store for this year. I'm ready for a new adventure and excited to see Gods plan for keeping me in Illinois when last year I was so eager to leave. 

Just leaning in and expecting God to lead.