Tomorrow I gain 31 precious children

Tomorrow begins a journey the Lord has been preparing me for, for 25 years. In less than 12 hours I will have my very own class of 31 fifth graders.  When I was little my mom would bring home all of the old textbooks and I would spend hours in our "school room" teaching my friends or teaching my stuffed animals when my friends weren't around, that now becomes a reality. Since graduation I knew that a career in business wasn't exactly what I was created to do, but I couldn't figure out what the culmination of all my passions and gifts led to. I tried substitute teaching, which didn't make me want to teach, you know how kids treat a sub. I wrestled, I struggled, I felt lost, confused and alone. I often felt like I didn't have purpose. I loved getting to do ministry with college women, yet I knew that someday I would have to have a full-time career and just couldn't figure out what that would be. Instead of focusing on where I was at in the moment I was often worried about the future and what kind of job would be right for me. I felt like I had wasted my education in a way because I knew I didn't specifically want to use that degree. Most of the time I felt like I didn't belong and yet I couldn't figure out where it was I did belong. Yet, through all of that God was creating me and shaping me. He had a plan, even in the darkest moments when I couldn't feel His presence. There are still things in my life I can't begin to understand, but what I do know is that my God is faithful and my God cares about me in a way no one else ever will. And I can look back on certain events and situations and can see how that fits into the puzzle. I know that God has used it all to try me nearer to Him, to make me more like Him, and to teach me.

All that to say, I couldn't be more thrilled to begin my teaching career in the morning. From the time my baby brother was born and I was 8, I've always loved kids. Through my years of babysitting, teaching Sunday school, and hanging out with any kids I knew I've always wanted to have my own children. In fact for many years it was hard to be career focused, because raising children was all I wanted to do. Yet, I have had to learn that our timeline and plans for our lives are often not the timeline and plans that our Father has for us. While having my own doesn't seem to be anytime soon, I couldn't feel more blessed then to be given the opportunity to have my own classroom of students that I get to invest in, teach, and impact. The amount of hours I will get to spend with them, and preparing for our time together is not a task I take lightly. They deserve my best and I desire to work hard to fill those shoes. 

I've spent many hours this past week getting ready not just for tomorrow but for this year. I didn't realize I was capable of learning that much in a week. While I still have a lot to learn, I'm walking into tomorrow trusting the Lord to equip me, to use me, and to fill me with confidence and boldness. 

I'm grateful tonight for the ways the Lord is working both behind the scenes and in ways I can see. I'm thankful for the chance to begin in a new place. It's been almost a month since I've moved out here and while some days it feels like yesterday and others it feels like forever. It's not necessarily been easy, but it has been good. I'm thankful for the new people in my life, the people who I have known for a short time but who have gone out of there way to make me feel welcome, for the people out here who I already know and the comfort that comes from that, and for the people who aren't here but who are only a phone call away, and for my family and the way they have supported me on this journey and have been patient with me as I figure out what it is that I am called to do. 

Tomorrow I begin my career that as a child I dreamed of. I'm thankful that the Lord redirects us and has His hand on our lives in everything. 

When we say YES, we give God room to work

I have never loved change, but over the course of the last year change has happened in my life in ways I never would have guessed or necessarily chosen. These changes have caused me to come to the point where I had to say "Yes, God you can take me from my comfort zone." It is in that we allow Him room to work and to use that change for good. I am in AWE of my Good, Good Father. He is provider, restorer, redeemer, creator, protector, and always always goes before us. Joy and Peace- two qualities that my Heavenly Father has restored to me in this season, and I am beyond thankful for that. Here are a few ways God is revealing Himself in my life.

For those of you who desire to follow me in this new journey, I would love to talk in person but I also will try and share through writing so that you can see what I am learning and doing. Thank you for your love, prayer, and support. I have been in Colorado for 10 days. I love it here. I love the people, the scenery, the weather, the places, and all there is to offer. I have been blessed to have my mom with me for the last 10 days, to help me get settled and to explore together. The plan was to unpack the truck and get my things organized, unfortunately the truck has yet to make its way to Colorado. Yes, I am frustrated, but in the grand scheme of things- it's just stuff. I can live on an air mattress for a while, and re-wear and wash the clothes I have here. I could choose to stress about this, and it has been stressful because the company we are working with has not been reliable or helpful; however, in the midst of these days here without my belongings I have gotten to experience so much. And the Lord is working in incredible ways.

I love my house, the house itself is great but more so- it's the women who live there that make it a home. I love them already. I love the way they love the Lord and love others. I am excited to know them more, but just feel so blessed to live in a place where I can be myself and feel cared about. I can see the Lord through each one of them. Not, only has my house become a home so quickly but God has provided a job for me. In a matter of being in Colorado for just a few days I had interviewed and been accepted for a 5th grade teaching position. I am overwhelmed with God's continual provision. I can't wait to meet my students, I pray for them daily and already care about them even though I don't know their names. I can't wait to learn and grow as I have the opportunity to teach them. I feel honored to get to teach at Community Leadership Academy- it is a prestigious school, one that cares about its teachers, and one whose main focus is for students to learn in a safe and healthy environment. My students will primarily come in speaking spanish in kindergarten, but by 5th grade should be fluent in both english and spanish. I can't believe that I have the opportunity to be an influence in these students lives, and to have them in my life. Prayers are definitely appreciated as I go into this position, it is one that I don't feel adequate for, but one that I know the Lord has gone before me and prepared me for.

I look at Isaiah 43- "When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior." I am thankful for this truth and for the way it is evident in my life. There have been so many moments where I felt like I was drowning and yet my God walked with me, and not only did He help me stay a float, but He RESCUED me. The mountain I climbed was steep, and I fell many many times, but He carried me to the top. He desires to walk with us through it all, and I am so so grateful that He does.

I could write for hours about the way God has provided, but here is just a glimpse into how He is at work. It's not always in the way I ask or am expecting Him to work, but He knows my needs and He makes everything beautiful in His time. Thanking Him for the way He is making my story beautiful, and how He will continue to make other parts of it beautiful in His timing. Thank you for walking with me. Thank you for reading and caring about me.

Soaking it all up

Transition- movement, passage, or change from one position, state, stage, subject, concept, to another. Lately I feel like so many areas of my life are in transition. A term I have never loved and usually embrace with hesitancy. "The opposite of faith is not doubt. The opposite of faith is certainty. Certainty doesn't require faith, it's when we are uncertain that we need to have faith." Transition is by no means easy, but it is often uncertain. And that uncertainty requires me to have faith. It requires for me to grow deeper in my dependency on the Lord. 

These past few weeks have been the first time since I can remember when I wasn't employed. While it has been extremely different and feels weird, it is extremely freeing. I have realized how stuck I was. Being able to have the flexibility and freedom to travel and see friends has been a huge blessing. I have been able to be around for things for my friends and family that I feel like I have missed out on for years. I am thankful that I have been able to spend this month in this way, 

Through this transition I have also had time to read- to read to learn and to read for fun. To dig into the word. To learn from Christian authors, to journal, and to get lost in a novel. I have enjoyed having time to read throughout these days. If you need any recommendations, I am always up for offering a few titles. 

I have been challenged by several of the sermons I have heard over the last month or so. I am learning what it looks like to live in the joy of the Lord despite circumstances. I am learning to depend on my Father daily. I am learning about the peace that God gives. Our peace first has to be with God, then peace in out hearts, and then peace with others. He is the building block that our lives must be built upon. I am learning how God instructs us to live in love.  These 23 points have challenged me and really taken me deeper in my understanding of how I am called to love others and to be in relationships with others. It is definitely worth spending some time reading through them, they will take you deeper in the way you love those in your life (http://www.paultripp.com/articles/posts/23-things-that-love-is).

Taking risks isn't something I'm good at nor something I've always seen as vital. However, I'm learning that it's in that risk that we have to depend on Jesus. It's that risk that takes us deeper. When asked about my life, I want to be able to say I'm living a life worthy of His calling. I want to live out the mission of Ephesians 4- "As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worth of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all."

It is surreal that I leave for Denver next week. Leaving behind all that I have known. I can't begin to explain what I am feeling. There are days I don't want to go, and other days I know that it is exactly where I am supposed to be. I am eager to see what the Lord has in store. I am trusting Him with the uncertainties and believing that He is at work beyond what I could ever ask or imagine. 

Worship songs always have a way of speaking to my heart. Here are a few that are on repeat these days. 

• Oceans - Hillsong United
• Give Me Faith - Elevation
• You Make Me Brave- Bethel
• Blameless- Dara Maclean

If you're wondering how you can partner in praying with me through this next season here you go. I appreciate you walking with me and praying for me. 

1. That I will be open and present in this new journey. That I will allow the Lord to heal my heart and be fully present in this new journey.
2. That I will find a church to plug into and a ministry to be a part of where not only I can serve others but where I can be poured into.
3. That as I meet people and make friends I will be able to be vulnerable with them. That I will know who I can trust and that I will not be afraid to let others into my life.
4. That the Lord will provide a teaching job and that He will give me the confidence and courage to lead and to have an influential role in my students lives.