Humbled.

I've been back in Joplin for 3 weeks and I still am in awe of how the Lord worked it all out. Tomorrow starts our first week of MOVE for the summer. I'm excited to get to see the program and get a glimpse into what the summer holds. I haven't gotten to just be a participant at MOVE since I was a student. It's crazy that the week of the Joplin event is already here and that I leave Friday for Indiana. 

I love my job. Being a program coordinator is a new challenge for me and I love using what I know and have learned over the last couple summers. We had orientation this past week and have had many training sessions, I definitely feel well prepared to get out on the road. I know there are still things to learn but that's how I learn best is by doing it. 

I have had more time to myself in the last 4 weeks then I have had in years. There are days when I love it and other days when I don't. It has been good for me though. Something that I think was definitely necessary in transition from my responsibilities at school to this summer and in preparation for being an RD in the fall. My parents used to think I didn't know how to entertain myself, but I'm discovering things that I really do enjoy. It's been so nice to have time for some of these things, and I am encouraged because I am hoping to have time for some of my new found hobbies in the fall.

I've been learning a lot about myself over the past few weeks. Over the last few years a huge part of who I am and what I'm good at is found in being able to have people over, to host them, and to show them love in that way. I can't even keep track of the numerous awesome conversations I have had with people on my bed in my dorm room or on the couches in my various apartments at school. This is something that comes easily to me and something that I absolutely love about my life. I'm the planner, and usually the one to host get togethers or building parties. Not being able to have a place to invite people over to has been a challenge. I felt at a loss for knowing how to make friends, because this factor was missing. It's been humbling though to come to a realization that when the quality that I consider a strength is taken away from me  and I no longer have control that I have to depend on the Lord. I've had to let go of the pride inside of me and allow myself to learn to depend on others and not be so independent. The past couple weeks I have been very blessed by couples and families who have invited me over, have hosted me, have fed me, and have most importantly just spent time with me. Everyone here is preparing to be away from their spouse/family for multiple weeks this summer and so having a random 21 year old who is only in town for a month "invade" their houses is probably not the first thing on their list of trying to get ready for their summers. I am SO grateful though for the love and kindness they have shown me over the past few weeks. There have definitely been challenges, but I wouldn't trade that in for anything else. I love my job, I love the lessons I am learning, I love what God is doing. I told Him I would follow Him wherever He wanted me to go, and I definitely know I am where He wants me in this moment. 

The big question hanging over my head is still what I am going to do for "work" when I get back to Olivet. While the questions comes up and I think about it on occasion, I am not worried. For now my job when I go back is to be an RD. A job I am STOKED about. I am saving some money this summer so that I can focus on that role until the Lord provides something to supplement the RD position. When people ask if I am excited about making that commitment even though it's part time and because I love my job this summer, I have no hesitation. I KNOW without a doubt that God wants me back at Olivet in the fall and that he wants me here this summer. The rest is in His hands.