Grateful for today.

It seems so unreal that in less than 2 weeks junior year will be over. Every year so far has been completely different and so having this year wrap up brings much joy as well as much uncertainty. This year has had its ups and downs, but I wouldn't have changed a thing- I've learned so much through it all. I think junior year will be one of the years I won't forget; especially all of the challenges I've overcome and the opportunities I have had to lead in so many ways and to go to Haiti are parts of college I will always remember. The friends that have been such a huge part of my life this year are friends that I will have past college. Tonight I was thinking back to some of the people I knew in high school and I began to realize how much has changed in all of our lives. I realized that a lot of those people are people I will probably never have much contact with again. While I tend to get caught up in reminiscing, I guess when I was thinking about this I began to realize that the place I'm at in my life now is completely different. I began to realize that rather then looking back or looking forward that the time I have now is so valuable. In high school I lived every day in anticipation of the day I could go to college and meet new people. Therefore, the friendships that I had didn't go very far past my high school days. That's why enjoying the time I have now with my friends here and really taking the time to get to know them is so important so that the friendships I have at this time in my life are ones that will continue once we leave this place. The time we spend now getting to know people means richer and deeper friendships with those people once the Lord calls us to new places. The uncertainty I was talking about comes when I look to next year I have no idea what the year will be like. I have no clue how I am going to fit everything in that has to be done. I have no idea how much things will change with the people I am close to now. It's all part of our unknown, but God's perfect plan.

Another thing that seems so unreal is that in less than a month I will be on my way back to Joplin, MO. Joplin is a place I think about often, it holds a special place in my heart. There are so many mixed emotions about going back. I am excited to see where they have come over the past 9 months since I left there last August. Going back also brings back all of the memories of that night last May when the tornado came and my life was impacted forever. I guess I do have fears about going back, but ever since I was a kid I've had a hard time going back or being in places where I have a bad memory. So even though I am a little fearful I am really excited for another summer to work for and travel with CIY. I think back to all I had to learn last summer and I start to think how different this summer will be, but I feel blessed to be able to return for my second summer and to be able to lead a team. There is always a special bond that forms when you travel with people and are in ministry together. Last summer was an incredible time of growth and I know this summer will be completely different, but I'm really looking forward to how the Lord wants to speak into my life this summer.

I have no idea where He will take me past senior year here at Olivet, but I want to be open and willing to go wherever that may be. While, I think I have some sort of idea of where I'd like to be I really have no clue where it is that God will lead me. It could be CIY, maybe some sort of missions work, Feed My Starving Children, maybe even something here at Olivet, or it could be something that I haven't even ever considered doing. The one thing I do know is that He is preparing me even now for whatever that might be. I have a hard time looking into the future and seeing a whole bunch of question marks, but to God they aren't question marks, but rather exclamation points! So much can change in just a year, but change can be good.

Rather then continually looking ahead to the next thing, I really want to enjoy the moments now: the nights of little to no sleep, the days where I run from one thing to the next all day and then finally sit down at 11 to start my homework, and the time now with the people here.