So many places.

My heart is torn as I leave another place I call home. I wish that everything that meant so much to me could all be in one place, but then life wouldn’t be the adventure that it is. Leaving my very dear friends out in Reno is never easy. It’s such a blessing to be able to go out and visit, but the time we have together is never enough. The joy that is present when I am with them is something I can’t explain, they have a way of making me feel so loved. I care about them so much and I feel like they are my family. Then I have just a few days to spend at home with my family, I think I will spend a total of 10-12 days at home this summer. Part of my heart is still in Haiti and longs to be back there. And then there are all of my friends at school who I also miss a ton. Yet, I choose to spend my summer away because I love being a part of CIY. I’m not sure I have ever felt like my heart was being pulled in this many directions. Then I think to a year from now and how in a year I will be expected to have a full time job and to be beginning my career. And then I think about all of the things that matter so much to me and wonder how there will be time for all of them. I have no idea what opportunities will be in front of me a year from now, but I do know that worrying about that will do me no good. There is still a lot that the Lord wants to do during my senior year and I don’t want to miss out on that. Lately I have had so many questions about what it looks like to have God lay a vision upon your heart and how that is carried out when there are so many hoops to jump through. For 8 months now I have been praying about leading an event on my campus where we raise funds and package meals to feed starving children in Haiti. Thankfully I have a few very dedicated friends who also share this vision and have supported me and helped in any way they could, but it doesn’t matter how many students are pouring into this project when the school shuts the idea down. I am unsure where to go from here; I don’t want to lose faith, I believe that God can do anything even when it seems impossible to us. I still feel like this event is supposed to happen, but I don’t know what my role is in this anymore. It’s so hard not to be discouraged, I don’t want to give up but when I keep getting shut down it makes it hard to move forward. I am frustrated with how difficult it is to get something approved like this on our campus. All semester we have been learning what service looks like. We have been challenged to have a global mindset. What better way for our campus to put this into practice then by together being a part of packaging meals for children in other countries? I feel that college is a perfect time to be a part of something like this and I have such a strong desire to get our whole campus involved; yet I feel so defeated.