Pressing Pause

Again I am in awe of my Father. Two weekends ago I spent Friday evening and all day Saturday in class for my licensure program. Friday I had interviewed at another school hoping to get a job and stay in my program to get my teaching license. By Saturday I still hadn't heard back but I was feeling very certain that the school I had interviewed at was not where the Lord wanted me. All week I had been praying that the Lord would open the door if that was His will, but that He would keep it closed if it was another unhealthy environment. Saturday night I was really struggling. I was unsure of the Lord's plan. I spent all day learning about classroom management not even sure when or if I would have a classroom to apply it in. I was nervous about this interview I had Friday because it didn't feel right but if they offered it to me, I couldn't imagine saying no because that would mean giving up my program which seemed illogical. I wrestled, grieved, and worried- this was getting me nowhere. I'm thankful to live with women who remind me of this and who push me to not let myself stay there. This began the journey of praying for the Lord to open doors for me outside of education, realizing I needed to press pause on teaching for the time being. I began to realize that I have a degree, and I have gifts that I can use in areas other than teaching. I have applied for and interviewed at a couple of jobs in the field of business not-for-profit, and patiently waiting for the Lord to direct me. I am excited about the opportunities that lie ahead and will share more once I know where I will be working. Just continuing to be praying that the Lord will be glorified through this decision and the work that I will get to be a part of. The time that I haven't been working has been such a blessing, I am definitely looking forward to routine once again but I have enjoyed the freedom of this time away from it. I've loved getting to reconnect with people, get plugged in at church, meet new people, really feel like this place is my home, invest in new people, read, be outside, the list could go on. I am learning to rest, to slow down, and to wait. It has just been such a time of healing after the last job I was in and the season I had come out of. When people ask why I moved to Colorado my answer was that I moved here to have a fresh start and meet people my age, to grow spiritually, and to teach. The Lord has been redefining that, maybe it took the teaching program to get me out here but that doesn't mean that was his only plan. He has other plans in store for me for this season and He has gifted me in so many other ways that I am excited to watch unfold. I love the church I am a part of and the people I have been able to meet through that. It has been so neat to have  a front row seat in watching the Lord provide in that area of my life. It's crazy that so many of the friends I have met have also recently moved here and I love getting to know their stories. In such a short amount of time I have been able to know them on a deep level and am very thankful for that. Continuing to learn to find contentment in my circumstances and to allow the Lord to fill every need in my life. Daily I ask Him to remind me of my value and worth in Him and to use this time to grow me to be a good friend to others, and to be a Godly, supportive, and confident wife someday. There are many days when my timeline wants to take control over His timeline, but daily I have to lay that at His feet and relinquish that control and desire to Him. I am learning that His plan is far greater than mine, I can see that even when I look back in my life at plans I made and how He changed those plans into something far greater. He is using me right now and is preparing me for the day I get to be a wife, but  rather then pressing fast forward I am trying to enjoy today and the freedom and opportunities I have in this season of life. I am trying to pause and allow Him to work in me while I wait.